February 25, 2010- Too much hockey on the brain

I have a great idea for a novel, and if you're a writer, you can have it, no royalties needed or pesky fights later after you make your millions. I'm simply too lazy to actually write it, but it's brilliant, brilliant, I tell you.

Here you go: Davinci Code, but for hockey.

Your hero chases down the biggest secret in hockey history, which is that all games in the NHL and even the olympics are secretly fixed by a cabal of owners and players. The goal of the fixing of the games to maximize profits, of course.

It would be plausible because really, how else would we end up with poetry on ice last night against the Russians and doggy doo on ice against the US the very same week? All part of the plan to increase viewership, and therefore revenue.

The plot would also explain how the Toronto Maple Leafs, most profitable franchise in all of hockeydom, not winning since, what, 1941 or something? (I know it's 1967, just taking a little poetic licence there, relax!)

You'd have to flesh out the details, like how the players are initiated into the deception, the good ones anyway, rotten players would not have to be part of the plan, they're just filler on the ice.
A few of them will have to die, too, to keep the action going. Some could even be poisoned on the ice, overdosed on whatever untraceable drug I figure the Canadian team was given in the USA game. You wouldn't have to make too much fuss about the ones you kill off though- they'd be like the expendable crew member introduced just in time to become a member of an 'away team' on Star Trek. Didn't you always know that guy was going to be killed by the alien life form?

You'd also have plenty of opportunity to bring in real-life bad guys and expand on their possible role in the plot. Harold Ballard as loveable but really just a confused child at heart, a pawn of maniac genius Tiger Williams, and maybe Lanny MacDonald in a huge battle with zombies... totally up to you. (maybe not so much with the zombies....)

Oh, this is genius, and you will be rolling in dough! By the way, I think Ryan Reynolds should play the investigator when your novel gets optioned into a Hollywood blockbuster; he would be smart like Tom Hanks in 'Davinci', but sexier, and of course, Canadian so you know he'd be convincing as he talks about 'the best game you can name'.