April 18, 2010 – No food in this kitchen, please

I buy strange things each week at the grocery store, carefully store them in plastic bags and other containers, keep them in the refrigerator for a few weeks until they’re good and rotten and then throw 'em out. They’re called vegetables.

But there's more going on in my 'fridge than I thought. Recently, I tried to jam a small cabbage into the bottom shelf, but could not because the whole thing was full. But not with any actual food.
What follows is a by-no-means-comprehensive list of the non-food in my 'fridge today:

Tom Yum Soup paste
Anchovies in a tube
Anchovies in a tin
Green curry paste
Red curry paste
Soba noodles with no expiration date, but of whose purchase I have no recollection
Miso- see above
Stuff I thought was miso, but turned out to some other, unidentifiable thing, thanks to the Asian script I don't know how to read
Two kinds of horseradish, plus a jar of pre-mixed Wasabi
Three kinds of soy sauce- one for sushi, one for stir-frying, one reduced-sodium
Four varieties of mustard (five if you count French’s prepared and no-name prepared as two kinds)
Surprisingly, just one bottle of ketchup….
Sambal Oleck- crazy hot Asian sauce
Siraachi sauce- super crazy hot Asian sauce
Sauce for cold or springrolls
Container of lychees in syrup (for lychee martinis)
Maple syrup
Another jar of maple syrup
Hot banana peppers
Homemade pickled leeks
Homemade dill pickles
Storebought dill pickles
Hot mixed pickles
Roasted red peppers
Pesto
6 bottles of salad dressing
One bottle of leftover late harvest white wine. (yuk!)
Half-empty jar of Miracle Whip
Half empty can of tomato paste in a bag (moldy, natch)
Ginger paste
Garlic paste
Crushed garlic
Garlic jelly
Basket of assorted half-empty jams, all homemade by my mother or me. (peach/banana, raspberry, strawberry, blackcap (#1 at the fair!!!), and two chutneys.)
Red pepper spicy chutney

Seriously, I don’t need a beer fridge; I need a condiment fridge!