A tip for all you fans of romantic fiction: under no circumstances should you try to explain the plot of the novel you're reading, no matter how breathtaking, sweeping or epic the story. Your sweetheart will laugh. Or worse, he might try very hard not to laugh.
I have been reading a lot of quite serious non-fiction lately, but decided on Thursday afternoon to go with something lighter, and I found myself revisiting my collection of historical romances by the creator of the genre, Kathleen E Woodiwiss.
As I settled in to finish 'Shanna' last night, my sweetheart asked me to briefly outline the plot.
Big mistake.
The corners of his mouth started to twitch as I told my sweetie of the immensely wealthy and striking blonde with a streak of willfulness who lived in the 1780s. She decides to thwart her father, who has demanded she find a man to marry within a year or face marriage to a man of his choosing. The year is nearly up and she decides find a man of good name bound for the gallows. The plan is, she'll marry the prisoner in exchange for easing his last days, then get to be a widow, thus appeasing Daddy and getting freedom to eventually choose her own mate. That's the first ten pages.
He had to cover his mouth to suppress his laughter as I explained how the chosen prisoner demanded a whole night with the blonde beauty, then, after being betrayed by her, through a series of impossible coincidences involving many, many corrupt and greedy men, he winds up a bondsman on the Caribbean island owned by the father where he distinguishes himself with his knowledge of engineering, horses and business, becoming indispsensible to the workings of the island.
I didn't get into the pirates, the kidnapping, rescue, near-fatal injuries, the nursing back to health, the steamy sex scenes or declarations of undying love, mostly because my sweetie couldn't hear me over the gales of laughter.
The laughter wasn't coming from him- it was from me!
It all sounded so ridiculous when I said it out loud - why is it so captivating on the page?
I guess some things just don't translate. So, my steamy romances will stay on paper from now on, complete with the 'thee's and 'ye's that make the dialogue so delicious.
We read them for entertainment only! There's no way you could ever explain it to someone who's never read one... just enjoy! E-readers are wonderful for these books, you don't have to hide the cover! Shana is one of my favorites, historical romances are pure escapism.
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