Thank you, Toronto Maple Leafs ownership for your heartfelt apologies for the 2011-2012 season.
I can say without apology that I watched exactly one period of Leafs hockey this season. I just can't do it. I want to love them, I want to love hockey, but I know I will be disappointed again, so I just don't.
The Leafs should not only apologise for this year, but for every year in recent memory, and especially for the reign of Harold Ballard.They should also apologise for their ridiculous ticket prices and overpriced, watered-down beer.
Come to think of it, I want an apology from Bell Canada for its latest negative option billing, $2 to receive a paper bill.
I also want an apology from the makers of the James Bond movies for not securing Pierce Brosnan sooner and keeping him longer.
In addition, I'd like to hear a mea culpa from George Lucas for the latest installments of the Star Wars trilogy.
Furthermore, an "I'm sorry" would go a long way to soothing my wrinkled skin, mister sun! It wouldn't hurt if mother nature could chime in on that one.
And speaking of skin, I would like an apology from my chin for the one nasty dark hair that seemingly appears from nowhere every six weeks or so.
Oh, I'm just getting started...
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