Food for Thought on Mother's Day

I believe there is no way to have a non-polarizing discussion about how long children should be breastfed, but I also believe opening such a talk is a good way to prove your magazine might still be relevant.

Time Magazine's cover next week features a 26 year old blonde hottie mother of two in jeans and a cami-type shirt, her four year old son standing on a stool in front of her with her left breast in his mouth.

Would the cover be less controversial if the mother were less attractive? What if the child were a girl? What if the mother wasn't white? Would it be more controversial if her other son, who also breastfeeds at age five were shown? He's adopted and black, according to some reports.

Some people are worried the kid is going to be damaged, not necessarily by breastfeeding until he's four, but because people will tease him later in life about the magazine cover. Others say there's no nutritional value in the milk after six months, so the mom is really satisfying some need of her own by continuing to breastfeed. I've noticed it's almost never girl children who are the subjects in the how-long-to-breastfeeding controversies that crop up about twice a year.

Most of us have very rigid ideas about this topic, although I bet very few of us can articulate where we got those ideas. They're wrapped up our beliefs about motherhood, sexuality, Madonna complexes, women's rights and all sorts of things most of us don't want to examine in much detail.

Here's what I have concluded on the topic, after a lot of reflection on the matter:

1)People without kids need never express an opinion on any aspect of childrearing, since anything you say will be immediately dismissed. While I don't have to build a car to be able to see one headed for a ditch, my opinion on babies and children is apparently worthless since I have none.

2)If you believe in breastfeeding for a long, long time, no amount of discussion about nutrition, body image or anything else will dissuade you. It's almost as though it's a religious discussion; since challenges to beliefs on this topic very quickly degenerate into namecalling and defensiveness.

3) The words "European" and "Civilized" mean different things to different people. "Organic", too.

And remember, it's not Good Mother's Day. It's just Mother's Day.