Thursday, March 20, 2014

School is in

The last few weeks have been a time of great learning for me. Some of the information I have come across shook cherished and long-held beliefs and some has given me a feeling of lightness and growth that's really quite addictive.

A sample:
1/Just because I like someone, doesn't mean they're widely liked.
I tend toward the drama queens and the narcissists for my friendships because, let's face it, they're FUN. At least, they're fun at first, with all the drama and the excitement and whatnot. It's only after a while I find out I am but a bit player and of no real consequence to the narcissistic drama queen, and I bow out. (If we've been friends for a long time, you're likely neither a drama queen nor a narcissist, fyi, so refrain from snarky comments below, please!) I also tend toward the quirky. I have found that quirky folk are also generally thoughtful and kind, and their messups are far less damaging than those of The Dramatic. Further, The Quirky usually have skills worth admiration. I have recently learned that some people aren't willing to put in the time to plumb the depths of the Quirky's admirable traits, which makes me sad for both parties.


2/ Sometimes, you have to step up.
There is some sort of trouble at the club where I curl. 5 of 11 members of the Board of Directors have quit. Among the people who walked away? 100 percent of the women. My pun for the situation: "That sure seems like some sort of cock-up to me!"
Seriously, though, I've been a member of the club for 10 years, playing as often as four times a week. I usually help out at one bonspiel a year. I've let other people volunteer to run the scheduling, bonspiels, bar, committees and all other organizational stuff that needs done. Sitting back is all well and good, but I realize as of this week, I forfeit the right to complain if I don't pitch in.

3/ Cars need oil, and they're not kidding about it.
My beloved and elderly Volkswagen Beetle left me stranded by the side of the road Monday. I thought the oil light meant, "Hey, maybe, if you're not too busy, could you perhaps swing by a store later today and pick up some oil?" It actually means, "HOLY MOTHER OF ALL, I'M DYING HERE!!!!", and might mean, "Goodbye, cruel world....". I'm hoping for a diagnosis later today.
Before you think me an idiot, please know I was diligent about the oil changes for beloved Byng the Bug for the first 13.5 years of our relationship. It's only in the last while, when Sweetie and I are getting so very close to finding the perfect replacement, that I have been somewhat (OK, thoroughly) negligent.

Oh there's more, but I'm too embarrassed to put some of it into words.

Monday, March 3, 2014

Preposterous Prepositions

Prepositions are very small words but they're really quite important.

A preposition links nouns, pronouns and phrases to other words in a sentence to help the reader or listener understand the relationship between the object of the sentence and the rest of it.

To, from, at, with and a whole host of other little words can make a massive difference to the meaning of a sentence.

If you sit NEAR the fire, it's a lot different than sitting IN the fire.
Spitting AT someone can have markedly different consequences than spitting ON them.

Which brings me to Rob Ford's appearance on tonight's episode of Jimmy Kimmel's talk show.
Ford appears to be a victim of a grammatical mistake of some sort, unaware he's being laughed AT, not WITH.

Toronto's Mayor he has been the butt of Kimmel's jokes for several months. OK, he's been the butt of most of our jokes for months now, but Kimmel has been particularly eloquent and persistent. He had Chris Daughtry write and perform a particularly well-researched song, in addition to hiring a look-alike for fake interviews. The jokes Kimmel has been telling at Ford's expense are actually the cornerstone of one of Toronto's Mayoral contestants' campaigns. David Socknacki's posters read: 'Never heard of me? Neither has Jimmy Kimmel.'

Kimmel showing up at the airport, taking Ford to an Oscars after party? It's for the footage, for the 'get'; not because he admires, likes or supports Ford. It's a hideous real-life version of the movies Dogfight or Carrie, where meanies take the ugliest girl to the dance, the girl not realizing she is fodder for a bet.

Ford appears oblivious, too, and not just in this case. He mistakes gawkers for supporters, taking selfies with anyone who wants to, seemingly unable to tell that in a lot of cases, it's not admiration that motivates the photo-taker, at least, that's not the expression on their face. I have been puzzling over this one and I can't quite figure out the reason people want pictures with Ford. Maybe those selfies are being taken by people who, like Ford, don't know there is a difference between celebrity and infamy.

Part of me hopes that if and when the crack smoking, drunk driving Mayor of Toronto finally figures it out, that it happens live on air, so we at least we can watch the epiphany unfold on his red and sweaty face, and maybe something might be learned from this long and ugly escapade.