Regardless

why, hello there,
just fyi,
even if i send you a picture of myself in a bikini
or if our email notes were mostly about comical llamas,

you don't get to hit me.

whether i'm a starfucker,
a dimwit,
young and hot or too old for you;
regardless, you don't get to hit me.

if big ears teddy agrees or wants to hide,
whether you paid for dinner and are a big star
or just some regular guy looking for love;
regardless, you don't get to hit me.

if i have hair extensions
or can't tell a beetle from a gti;
regardless, you don't get to hit me.

you just don't get to hit me.
not ever, no matter what I did beforehand or afterwards.
period.
full stop.