Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Why You're Not Getting a Christmas Card this year

The perfect is the enemy of the good, that's why.

If I am to send out Christmas cards, they really need to be made by my hands, the address in calligraphy and each card including a unique, heartfelt greeting with best wishes for your health and happiness. My list has about 75 people on it, and that's just too, too much.

No, I don't make the paper; that would be silly.

The thing is, my embossing table is up high in a closet I haven't opened in a few months and I'm not sure where my calligraphy pen is or whether I have any ink appropriate for such a venture.

I refuse to spend a buck on a stamp to send a card printed in China, the envelope's label printed from my computer, the card containing nothing but my signature, so you're getting nothing.

Just like last year.

Which is weird, because I love, love, love receiving Christmas cards; any card, even if it was printed by children or political dissidents and signed with nothing but your illegible initials. Just as long as there's no image of Santa; I don't know why, but I hate that guy.

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