Friday, June 11, 2010

June 11, 2010- It IS a beautiful game

The last time I played soccer must be in grade five phys-ed.

The last time I tried to talk about it any meaningful way was during the 1998 World Cup, when I 'covered' some of the games during the tournament for the radio station I used to work for in Toronto. I use the word cover very loosely. It actually meant: go the bar where fans of that day's game are collected and twice an hour, put a couple of them on the radio, being excited, or give a report about how excited they are. If the other team scores, get your mic over to their bar, and fast. You might have noticed the 'coverage' hasn't really changed. I bet I could dig out my reports from back then and replay them, and no one would be the wiser.

The Dutch were very nice, I remember, gathered in their orange shirts somewhere along Bloor street. I had the good luck to find a member of the Canadian team who happened to be there watching, and put him on the radio. My boss thought I was a rockstar.

Really, though, that's about it for me, soccer-wise, and I'm pretty sure having my neice in a league in Richmond Hill doesn't exactly buy me any credibility.

So, my on-air partner and I were at rather a loss about what to say this week about the big tournament. We decided to do what pretty much every Canadian sportscaster is doing this week: we are making it up. The difference is, we're not pretending to know a damn thing.

We have, however, chosen teams to cheer for during the tournament. I am backing Slovenia, because I like their shirts (they remind me of Charlie Brown), followed by Portugal, because of the fabulous lips on a guy named Ronoldo. Apparently, I'm not alone in liking him, there are approximately seven million women in The Rest of the World, The Part that Watches Soccer thinking he's pretty fine. However, I'm pretty sure our radio station is the only one where you'd hear Ronoldo compared to Pavel Bure, an NHLer from the 1990s. Hey, they have the same lips.

I'm watching the France/Uruguay game right now, and I feel as though I'm being attacked by a swarm of bees. Those horns everyone's hooting! It just never stops! Can't they put them down for one minute for heavennsakes?

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