I have a pair of pants that my girlfriends and I call 'the miracle pants'. They are truly amazing; giving the illusion of a shapely yet still trim derriere in a place where many other pairs either struggled to stay up, given this Scottish girl has a complete lack of junk in the trunk, or worse, give an appearance of a butt that's wider than it is deep, again because of the lack of aforementioned junk. (over-forty aside: do people still say junk in the trunk, or has everyone moved on from that particularly unfortunate phrase?
My sweetheart calls them the 'good a$$ pants' and gives me a much-welcomed wolf-whistle whenever I don them.
Now, when anyone uses the word miracle to describe a part of my body, or if there is any kind of whistling, I'll wear those pants until they fall apart. So, you can imagine my happiness on a weekend shopping trip when I found "the pants", in my size, not only available, but ridiculously on sale! I bought two pairs; didn't even need to try them on.
And so, this morning, when I clipped the tags, so excited to have another pair of miracle pants, you can imagine my disappointment when they fit everywhere but my ankles. In my excitement, I had bought the regular leg, not the long I require.
No matter how great things look 'back there' I figure floods are not coming back into style any time soon. Is anyone going to the mall today?
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